What would happen if God asked you the most profound question? The question is, "What would you go through to be able to live as I have made you to live?" I remember the Matrix where there was a choice between two pills. He could take the red pill and find the truth which would come at a cost, or the blue pill and continue living the lie and not know but it was a false sense of happiness with a nagging that there was more. As a Christian, do you want to know and walk in the truth or just live the lie that the world has taught us? This even means walking in religious traditions and having a taste of Jesus but not all the fullness that He has promised in a relationship with Him.
Just recently I decided to choose and swallow the red pill. Boy, did it uncover some things that I had not wanted to deal with or even leg Jesus into! And it was the most awful and painful time. And yet the journey has brought a profound change in my life that has totally changed how I see and do life. It was something that God had been revealing, but this intensive 3 days has put my understanding of God and my growth in Him on. The experience has turned out to be one of the most wonderful times of my life.
Through our experiences in our life, we have been given so many messages about how life works and who we are. So when we read the Bible, we try to add this information to what we already know and so we live with a very twisted understanding of who we are and how God has made us live. God has made us live a certain way and I see this as our default state. Satan has caused us to live with limited truth but how we live has distorted us so we have sin, idols and fear, insecurity and shame that stops us from becoming all God has made us to be and living in a way that is different to the world as His children.
I love Romans 12:2 which encourages us to not be conformed by what the world says but be transformed as God does the work in us to make us different. To be able to walk as sons of God and to bring something to the world that the world is longing for. All creation is groaning for us to stand up and be sons of God and bring to the earth something that it desperately needs. To do this we must come to God and say to Him, please work in me so I am totally who You have made me to be and walking in the good works You have made me for. God, I press the "DEFAULT" button and change me so I can be all You have made me be. How brave are you? Is that something you could trust God with?
Read on if you want to learn more. How brave are you? How much do you trust your heavenly Father? How strong is your desire to become all God has made you be? There are several key things God has taught me in this process.
ONE: God has made us walk with him as a natural part of all our day. God walked with Adam in the cool of the evening. (Genesis 3:8)
With Jesus, we can walk not just with a quiet time in the morning and a quick prayer, but a life that is in constant connection and communion with Jesus. Being in a place where you can share your heart with Him as a friend and ask Him to talk to you all day. To give Him the places in your life that you have been afraid to deal with and as he is given them He is allowed to deal with them and bring healing and hope. Just sit on a regular basis and just have a heart to heart with Jesus. I have just started doing this and it is more wonderful than I could ever imagine.
TWO: As we start walking with Jesus He uncovers things in our life that we have allowed come between Him and us.
These things we think give us relief and provide help but in fact, they destroy in the long run. In the Bible, they are called idols and they ultimately destroy us. Tim Keller has written an excellent book on this. When we trust Jesus and walk with Him all day every day we can live differently.
The Bible says that the thief, Satan, has a goal of destroying us but when we come to Jesus, He is going to give us life in all its fullness. When thinking about this idea, I have understood then that anything that I try to get outside a relationship with Jesus is an idol. As I learn to live in a deep relationship with Him, then He brings, provides and sustains me as His son. He will give me all I need and I can rest in this knowledge of my Father. Satan can even confuse me by tricking me to use Jesus to get what I want. Wow! These idols can be sneaky.
THREE: When we can trust Jesus and start walking in a relationship with Him, He can expose sin and the things that have happened to us that have caused us shame, fear, condemnation, feelings of unworthiness and the list goes on.
As we ask Jesus for forgiveness for feeling these things because we do now Know Him and His character we can walk in amazing peace and trust in Jesus. Things can still be painful, tough and the process is often messy, but what amazing peace we feel as we bring our whole selves to Jesus and let Him into the depths of our heart that we have been scared to share with anybody.
FOUR: As we walk with Jesus and realise we have been created by Him, then we come to the understanding that He has made us for a purpose.
We fit into a huge plan that we are part of and it is not all about us. God's story (His Story... History) is such an exciting place to be. As I learn to walk in relationship with Jesus I find myself involved in things that are beyond anything I could imagine. He walks with me and leads me to speak into people's lives, make disciples and cause the world to work as He has created it to function. Life makes sense as I now fit inside a much bigger picture and it is no longer about me any more. I do not have to control and I allow God to work in my life and others to ensure His story works on the Earth.
FIVE: In the middle of the story it looks hopeless, messy and impossible.
We can say "God, this will never work. It looks hopeless and such a mess. I can never survive this, be happy again or this relationship will never work. As with any good narrative, it is only at the end of the story we can see the threads come together and see God's hand at work. In the middle of the story, we must trust God and just walk with Him. Yes, we must tell Jesus how we feel. That is what we do in every good relationship. But we must move on from how we feel and move to a place where we trust Him and follow His direction, not our feelings. As God is outside time, He is already at the end and is encouraging us to fix our eys on Him and just trust Him. It will work out better than we could have ever thought or imagined. It is just often very hard getting to this point through the hurt, pain and disappointment.
As part of my journey, I wrote a psalm that party speaks about what I have learnt.
My Psalm - Change My “I”
I started life full of enthusiasm.
“God, now I know You, I can change the world.”
“Make me great so I can do all You have called me to do
In your Word.
I went out and worked hard.
I did so much in Your name.
I think some people were blessed?.. but I did not have the impact that I expected.
Even when I thought I became greater, I still was exhausted and ineffective.
You did not become greater. On the outside, I was good to look at,
But on the inside, I was crumbling, uncertain and afraid.
And then I stopped. What is the real truth?
God, You are my creator.
Your story is what I love to be part of.
You have made me so I can do good works with You
So your story, as the creator of the world, comes to pass.
I love to know You, call you my Dad and just do life together.
As I walk in relationship with You, I find that You just make things happen.
Lives are changed, situations improve, and people are brought to You.
Fill me with Your Spirit. Teach me to share my heart with you all day.
As I walk as a son of God, cause me to be an integral part of Your story.
I yearn for You to be great in the Earth. I do not worry about “I” but You.
Change my I” to Your EYE
So I see the world through Your eyes
And walk with You
To see Your story happen on earth,
Till I come home to live with You for eternity.
Your son, Timothy.