Updated: Apr 7
I am currently working through a time where the things that I have held dear have been taken away from me and I have been placed in a position where I need to accept what has happened and move on. As I have been working through this time, God took me to the story in 2 Samuel 12, where David had taken the wife of Uriah while he was at war and she became pregnant. This baby became sick and God said he would die.
This story is important because there are so many things that we get stuck on because we believe that they should happen or should have happened, and we do not know the process of how to deal with these things, It could be broken relationships, finances, health issues, work etc. I pray that this will help you as you struggle with broken dreams and that you allow God to take you through the process David went through so you can experience complete healing and joy in being able to move forward into the things God has for you.
Here is the story from the 2 Samuel 12.
18 On the seventh day, the child died. David’s attendants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, “While the child was still living, he wouldn’t listen to us when we spoke to him. How can we now tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate.”
19 David noticed that his attendants were whispering among themselves, and he realized the child was dead. “Is the child dead?” he asked.
“Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.”
20 Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshipped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request, they served him food, and he ate.
21 His attendants asked him, “Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!”
22 He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ 23 But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”
As I am seeking God in what is happening to my family I have learnt through this passage that we need to go through a process when the dreams we have are not being fulfilled, and there is growth and freedom when we can get to the final stage of this process. Here are the stages that David when through and what is happening with me through this time.
1. The Dream (What I want or would like) - David had in his mind what he thought should happen. Even though he had sinned and God said the baby would die, he still believed this child should live. I have dreams that my family should function in a certain way and believed that God would cause our family to function as He intended.
2. The Dream Does Not Work - David was told the baby would die. He did not get his own way. At this time I get upset, do everything I can to get it to work and make it happen. Here I can get upset with God as things do not turn out the way I expected it to work. I believed that there would be reconciliation under God with my family. It has not happened and it does not appear it will.
3. I Wrestle With God - Here we struggle with God and implore Him to allow my dream to work. We seek God to see if it is not happening because of sin, it is an issue with me or God is saying no. This is the time David was in ashes, did not eat and pleaded with God. I have sought God, pleaded with Him and dealt with everything in my life that I have needed to. Still, there has been no change in my family situation. In fact, it got worse in this process.
4. I Listen to God - David had to realise that his son had died as the prophet Nathan had said and there was no way to get him back. He got up, put on lotions, worshipped God and ate. He had to accept God's "No" and leave his mourning. My family is dead and at the moment I have to get up from my mourning, worship God and realise that this is not going to change. This is a time to stop mourning and pick yourself up and worship God. It is now time to resume your full life and be happy again.
5. Embrace the future - Realise that the dream is now behind and to move on into the things He has given me with joy. Mourning is over. Wishing that this dream would work will only destroy me and stop me from being all He has called me to be and to do. It is time to thank God for what I have and move forward into the destiny He has for me. The dream is dead. The future is in front of me.
I thank God for my wife and daughter and pray God will bless them and watch over them. Sadly, as they do not want me in their lives I have done all I can. It is time to accept that a relationship with them is not possible and that mourning over them will not only destroy me but will stop me from moving forward into the things God has for me. God may restore our family over time. If He does, it will be His work and His timing. I choose to set my face like flint to the future and will know that my future has good things ahead.
Thank you for your prayers over this very difficult time.