In the beginning, God was awesome.
He created the Heavens, the Earth and just by speaking.
I loved reading about Him and thinking that this God
The one who created everything
Could actually love .... me.
My life has been about talking at HIm
Frantically doing things for Him
So He would think I was OK.
Other people's impressions of me
Was my mirror to how God viewed me.
Exhaustion, broken relationships and fear
Slowly crept in
Until I was living as an empty shell on the inside
But frantically living a life of what I thought God
And everyone else
Expected.
Then one day, God took me through the most horrid journey
I felt like giving up
My whole world had been shaken.....
It stopped making sense and I could not make it work any more.
So
I had to stop.
Stopping is the hardest thing to do
Because I could no longer control my world.
My Daddy invited me to crawl into HIs lap
To let Him embrace me and
As I put my head on His chest
I could hear His heartbeat
Feel Him stroking my hair
And telling me that He loves me
He knows I am human, make mistakes and have done so much wrong.
He still loves me
He is the one made me
And knows who I am.
I can breathe a sigh of relief...
The world is OK sitting in Daddy's lap
As I do, I know as my Daddy
He is looking after me. I am safe.
From this place, the world is a good place
Because my Daddy is good!